I finally did it... O_O

Okay, WHAT exactly did I finally do? Here's the thing, remember the last entry I made about three weeks ago about saying that Physics was VERY CHALLENGING? Well yeah, I just dropped the subject on 29th June 2012. Yes, just recently. Nope, yesterday to be exact. Haha! XD With an extremely heavy heart, I mustered all the strenght in my very doraemon-like body could muster and head for my Physics teacher, Mr. Chok's office. He's actually the Academic Advisor of Institute Sinaran as well. Before that, you might be wondering WHY did I have to muster all of my physical strenght instead of mental strength, am I right? Hehe. Basically, it's because my mind was made up but my legs were still at lost. What I'm trying to say is that my legs won't move. They felt heavy and for some reason UNWILLING to go meet Mr. Chok and ask for his signature. I'm guessing it's coz deep within my heart, I still want to try and learn Physics, but it's just that I don't have much time. The registration for the AS examination is in July and I don't have the time to try and catch up anymore. I have to be VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY FOCUSSED when I'm studying right now. As in make sure that whatever that I've studied and revised, I MUST be able to convey them in words, which means that the output of studying must be 100%! And if possible, 200%!

Anyway, back to the main point of this silly-sounding entry. Hehe.  XD Mr. Chok said he would advise me to study the subject for some more time and see if I can actually keep up, but since the time for payment is coming VERY soon and the deadline for handing in cash or cheques is drawing near, he said that it would be fine if I dropped Physics. I do not need Physics in my field of study anyway, so it was perfectly fine, he said. STILL~... I want to study it. TT______TT Anyway, I went to se Mr. Lee later. He's the Vice Principal and the Academic Supervisor I think. I'm not really sure. I forgot to be exact. Hehe. I told about me may not do very well in my AS, then he said something VERY encouraging that burnt the fire in my heart brighter and the will of fire that was extinguishing for the last few stressful weeks was ignited like a glowing wooden splinter placed near a test tube that has oxygen gas fuming out of it.. Ngehehehe.. XD XD XD Anyway, this was what he said:

".....No, it doesn't mean you can't do well in your AS. Now, you can focus your time and effort on these three subjects. Since you dropped Physics, you have 6 hours of free period. Use that time to go to the library and answer past year questions. Then, you can do well in your AS.... *momentary silence while my nodding my head* Don't waste your time and go to McDonald's."

                                -Mr. Lee-

It was a funny statement to make when I was kinda in despair of dropping Physics. I guess he could see it from my eyes since I look kinda a real-life walking and talking panda who looks VERY human. WAKAKAKAKA!!! Anyhow, I answered him I won't coz I always bring food from home so I don't have to waste my time on buying food. Hehe. Just so you know, McDonald's is VERY close to Institute Sinaran. You can actually walk to get there. Ngehehehe...

So, YES! As a conclusion, I dropped Physics in the end. I guess sometimes, love and passion isn't enough to get you better at certain things. You need to have talent at times. If possible, I would like to go to Physics class for fun and learn new things. Unfortunately, life is very exam-oriented. No one does what I am VERY tempted to do. But, I guess this is not completely anyone's fault coz it is through these kind of systems we are able to produce paper smart and practical smart people in various fields. Hehe. If you know what I mean. ;) Anyway, see ya in the next entries to come! ^^

Trust me, I'm Average...

WOAH. O_O I haven't posted anything for MONTHS! Hahahaha!!! Okay then, ever since I got my SPM results months ago, I've been REALLY busy. Seriously, I was! I wanted to post on a whole lot of things but several matters prevented me from doing so. Okay then, in this new entry, I'm gonna talk about what I'm doing right now. Hahaha! XD Okay, first off! I'm actually doing my A-Levels right now. What actually makes me busy is the fact that I am 3 months late for the programme! The programme started in January, but I took it in like late March? What the heck, right? Haha. XD Anyway, frankly and truthfully speaking, I am NO GENIUS. SERIOUSLY. I am as average as ever. I failed a lot of times, but of course that never became the reason for me to stop trying to get better and perhaps good results for my examinations. So, getting back to the main point, since I'm no genius, protege or any other things that are related to them, it's kind of difficult to catch up with my studies. I burnt midnight oils to study and revise as much as I can. I even go through the topics one by one so that I can get a FIRM grasp on the concepts, terminologies, procedures and such. I'm going rather slow to tell the truth. I'm actually struggling. Everyday is a battlefield for me. I never once cried about this though... I haven't shed a single tear out of my VERY panda-like eyes ever since I got my SPM results. Okay, maybe I did BUT that was because of the GREAT and "AMAZING" frustration of not being able to find any scholarship offers to those who would like to become doctors in the future. Trust me, it was VERY DIFFICULT to find one that would accept someone with my sort of results. If you know what I mean. That was the LAST TIME I shed tears for myslef and that was in either late March or early April. I haven't cried ever since. No matter how hurtful and painful things got, I never shed tears for myself anymore. Every single thing is still here inside my heart. For some reason, I can't cry for myself. I can't find a single reason that is STRONG enough to convince myself to cry so that I'll feel a lot better. I do cry sometimes, but only when I'm watching animes that saddens me. Hehehehe... XD

Anyway, I still try though. I find Physics to be VERY challenging. It requires one to fully understand a concept and then derive their own formula based on the concept, understanding and basic formula from what they've learnt. A friend of mine droppped the subject a few weeks ago coz she said she can't keep up. I thought about it too just a few days ago, frankly speaking. I'd have free periods, more time to study for Biology, Chemistry and Maths (these are the only subjects that I need so that I can further my studies to become a doctor). PLUS, Physics is not compulsory in my case. HOWEVER, hehe. I LOVE learning Physics! It's fun although difficult. XP Haha! XD Anyway, YES. I am struggling. SUFFERING in fact, but never voiced out my thoughts. I want to... Nevermind. :) Anyway, when you guys start studying later on, be grateful coz you're doing things from the very beginning. That means, you don't have to struggle like me. Use all of the oppurtunity you have and got to your advantage. YOU ARE REALLY LUCKY! Trust me, you are. :) If you are me, you'll come to understand and be VERY VERY VERY GRATEFUL to live as you! Hehe. Love your life, coz this is the only life you'll get. And most important, ALWAYS REMEMBER The Almighty Creator! :)