Trust me, I'm Average...

WOAH. O_O I haven't posted anything for MONTHS! Hahahaha!!! Okay then, ever since I got my SPM results months ago, I've been REALLY busy. Seriously, I was! I wanted to post on a whole lot of things but several matters prevented me from doing so. Okay then, in this new entry, I'm gonna talk about what I'm doing right now. Hahaha! XD Okay, first off! I'm actually doing my A-Levels right now. What actually makes me busy is the fact that I am 3 months late for the programme! The programme started in January, but I took it in like late March? What the heck, right? Haha. XD Anyway, frankly and truthfully speaking, I am NO GENIUS. SERIOUSLY. I am as average as ever. I failed a lot of times, but of course that never became the reason for me to stop trying to get better and perhaps good results for my examinations. So, getting back to the main point, since I'm no genius, protege or any other things that are related to them, it's kind of difficult to catch up with my studies. I burnt midnight oils to study and revise as much as I can. I even go through the topics one by one so that I can get a FIRM grasp on the concepts, terminologies, procedures and such. I'm going rather slow to tell the truth. I'm actually struggling. Everyday is a battlefield for me. I never once cried about this though... I haven't shed a single tear out of my VERY panda-like eyes ever since I got my SPM results. Okay, maybe I did BUT that was because of the GREAT and "AMAZING" frustration of not being able to find any scholarship offers to those who would like to become doctors in the future. Trust me, it was VERY DIFFICULT to find one that would accept someone with my sort of results. If you know what I mean. That was the LAST TIME I shed tears for myslef and that was in either late March or early April. I haven't cried ever since. No matter how hurtful and painful things got, I never shed tears for myself anymore. Every single thing is still here inside my heart. For some reason, I can't cry for myself. I can't find a single reason that is STRONG enough to convince myself to cry so that I'll feel a lot better. I do cry sometimes, but only when I'm watching animes that saddens me. Hehehehe... XD

Anyway, I still try though. I find Physics to be VERY challenging. It requires one to fully understand a concept and then derive their own formula based on the concept, understanding and basic formula from what they've learnt. A friend of mine droppped the subject a few weeks ago coz she said she can't keep up. I thought about it too just a few days ago, frankly speaking. I'd have free periods, more time to study for Biology, Chemistry and Maths (these are the only subjects that I need so that I can further my studies to become a doctor). PLUS, Physics is not compulsory in my case. HOWEVER, hehe. I LOVE learning Physics! It's fun although difficult. XP Haha! XD Anyway, YES. I am struggling. SUFFERING in fact, but never voiced out my thoughts. I want to... Nevermind. :) Anyway, when you guys start studying later on, be grateful coz you're doing things from the very beginning. That means, you don't have to struggle like me. Use all of the oppurtunity you have and got to your advantage. YOU ARE REALLY LUCKY! Trust me, you are. :) If you are me, you'll come to understand and be VERY VERY VERY GRATEFUL to live as you! Hehe. Love your life, coz this is the only life you'll get. And most important, ALWAYS REMEMBER The Almighty Creator! :)

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